A Moment of Reflection

I’m a big fan of meta-blogs and posts about blogging.  I think it’s important to consider what our purpose and motivation as bloggers is.  Are we blogging to inform, reflect, share, document?  What’s the why?

The funny thing is, as important as I think it is to consider these things, I’d never really thought much about them myself, in terms of my own blog, until the other night that is.  As I was caramelizing onions for something like my 300th version of BBQ chicken pizza, it occurred to me why I had such a difficult time connecting to my old blog, and why I’ve been so much more excited about this blog.

When I started my Girl Can, I was in a very different place than I am now.  I was a very different person.  I wasn’t in a bad place, per se, but I definitely wasn’t happy though I spent a great deal of time telling myself and everyone around me I was.  I was learning to embrace a healthy lifestyle and lose weight.  I was working on being the best, happiest version of myself.  I was actively trying to change myself and my life.  I was pursuing things that would actually make me happy.  Personal growth and change is normal, and I would settle for nothing less. I will always be working to be the best possible version of myself in any given circumstance.  I have no doubt I will continue to change and grow, and as a result this blog will change and grow over time too.  In theory, my old blog should have changed and grown with me.  As much as I tried to make it, I don’t think it ever really did, but it wasn’t until the other night that I realized as much.

The problem with my old blog wasn’t so much that I grew or changed and whether or not my blog did or didn’t.  The problem was that my motivation,t he place I was coming from changed.  When I started Girl Can, I was coming from a place of wanting to escape.  I was documenting my attempts to escape a life I was deep down unhappy with.  I was escaping an unhealthy lifestyle.  I was escaping unhealthy relationships.  As I escaped these things and found myself in a much better place, the paradigm in which I now function,  I was no longer blogging as an escape.  I was blogging to document and remember, to have a written record of my newly found happiness.  But my blog didn’t change in that regard, my blog as still rooted in that escapist mentality.  It seems to me, in retrospect, that even the tagline I created in my final attempt to revive the blog came from that same place of wanting to escape.  It’s probably, even likely, that this is a distinction that’s only clear to me in my head, but it made a world of difference.

So, what’s my why?  It’s to document my life.  It’s to share lessons I learn, thoughts I have, and things that are important to me.  I want to remember, to relive, and to create something I can look back on.  Because, like my tagline says, it’s about more than just crossing the finish line.

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